No, this is not a post about scat calls. (But if you think you want to do phone sex, you should know: the big money is in scat.)
This is a post about shit piling up. Shit to do. Shit to clean. Shit to move around. Shit to fix. Shit to organize.
When is enough shit enough shit?
When people figure out that you are good at shit, they like to have you do a lot of shit. And when you are good at shit, you take it on, because you can trust, as least, that the shit will be done well.
But I’ve noticed lately that there’s too much shit. I am learning how to say “no.”
In my dreams, I’m independently wealthy and thus able to fund any kind of charity/community outreach I want to do. I have tons of time, because my wealth allows it. That’s the dream.
Reality? I have a 2 year old. I have a stepchild. I have a marriage, and a mortgage, and I work 30 hours a week.
I have more flexibility in my life than most people, having not committed to a 9-5 in a good seven years.
I have a fair amount of energy. More, I’d wager, than your average Jane.
But I’m tired. Exhausted. I’m wondering if all the effort is worth it, or if I should just take my toys to my sandbox.
Sorry for the rotten attitude in this post. I’m being cagey, I know. That’s the cost of doing a blog with your name and image. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, or cause undue problems for myself.
Every morning I open my inbox, it seems, to find yet someone else wanting a piece–for free, or without really pitching in–of what I and a few select people have built, and continue to build. In my mind, I’ve started telling people, “I’m asking you for your preference as a formality. But I/my group/something I control is paying for this, so don’t even think I have to do what you’d prefer.”
Where’s the line between being a good leader, protective and sound, and being a paranoid, selfish dictator?
Dictators have better costumes, hands down.
Hang in there. Or better yet, come up for a girl’s day at Ojo.
Aw, you’re the best, Twilight. A girls day at Ojo would be bliss! The mud baths open in April?
Nope, not until May. There’s still snow up here in April. The mud is my favorite part! I discovered a new pool there that somehow I had missed. It’s arsenic but is way hotter than the other one.
“Where’s the line between being a good leader, protective and sound, and being a paranoid, selfish dictator?”
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Ah. No worries. Most days, I think you know not only where that line is, but when to cross it and when to respect it.
I sometimes think in each of our lives, and as we go about living them, we accomodate who we choose, and others have to be put in their place. We feel awful for establishing the boundary, but it’s a fact of life. You have to put your foot down (SHUT UP!), otherwise, some people will take full advantage. It doesn’t make you the bad guy. Well, in some people’s minds’, yes, but that’s
THEIR drama, not yours.
Me, I’ve always tried to respect a persons boundaries and their feelings as not to seem like I’m just taking adavantage for my own selfish gratifications. Those that know me might agree, I do see where you’re coming from, and you’re certainly justified in your frustrations…
Back to the question at hand:
“Where’s the line between being a good leader, protective and sound, and being a paranoid, selfish dictator?”
It changes from day to day — from person to person. You have to constantly reset the bar…
and be the wiser to know when.
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“He that respects himself is safe from others;
he wears a coat of mail that none can pierce.”
–Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
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Vince, I heart you.