Jun 23

We’ve asked you to save the date … we’ve teased you with dripping details … and now we are announcing …

EVOLUTION OF THE REVOLUTION

Jay Wiseman

Jay Wiseman, renowned BDSM/kink author, speaker, teacher

A two-day event featuring JohnBaku and Jay Wiseman, as well as local and regional speakers.

Where? The Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Albuquerque, New Mexico

When? Friday, Sept 17-Saturday, Sept 18, 2010

What? Two days of social networking, discussion, celebration, learning, and play, with a focus on examining how the kink/BDSM/Leather/fetish revolution has evolved over the last 30+ years.

Cost? $50/person for full event until August 18, 2010
$60/person for full event after August 18, 2010 or at the door

A la carte: $20/person for Cocktail Party until August 18, 2010
$25/person for Cocktail Party after August 18, 2010 or at the door
$25/person for Play Party until August 18, 2010
$30/person for Play Party after August 18, 2010 or at the door

What does the full event charge cover?

Friday Night, 7-10pm: Lavishly Catered Cocktail Party with cash bar

Saturday morning: Panel discussion with Jay Wiseman and John Baku

Panel discussion with Stan of AEL, Steve Wearden of the Leather Wolves, Mim Chapman of the NM Polyamory Network, and ShelbySue of Las Cruces Coffee & Kink

Breakfast included Saturday morning

JohnBaku, FetLife

JohnBaku, creator of FetLife

Workshops in the afternoon, presented by JohnBaku, Jay Wiseman, and more … Stay tuned for more specific details.

Coffee/tea breaks included Saturday afternoon

Play Party in private ballroom on the Golf Course … gorgeous balcony … separate parking lot … serious privacy for serious play!

Buffet of snacks included in Play Party

Vendor Fair available Friday night and all day Saturday.

AMAZING raffles … including an opportunity to win 1-hour of Rope Bondage private instruction for you & your partner with Jay Wiseman!

And on Sunday night, we encourage you to attend the Rio Grande Leather Contest.

Want to book a room and make it a weekend away from home? Call Pauline at the Hard Rock at (505) 244-8262 and use the code “NMF0910.” We have a block with the rate of $139/night. (The typical weekend rate is $179+.) The Hard Rock will NOT charge you extra to have 3-4 people in a room! $139 applies to single, double, triple, or quadruple occupancy. The rate of $139 is valid only until August 18, 2010. Please book quickly! Please note: because we have a group code, you must book by phone, not on-line.

Oh! I can’t wait! How do I buy a ticket for this amazing event?

See any board member at any New Mexico FetLifer event or contact any board member to meet up and secure your spot with cold hard cash! Live outside of New Mexico? Can’t get with a board member? Contact any board member to set up payment. Visit New Mexico FetLifers at www.fetlife.com!

Want to use a credit card? Please use PayPal. For credit cards, a service fee of $1 applies to purchasing the a la carte Cocktail Party; $2 applies to the Play Party; and a $3 service fee applies to purchasing the Full Event. (We think you want the full event … really, would you want to miss a minute of this unforgettable weekend?)

Evolution of the Revolution

Over a dozen vendors will join us … including IMsBB 2010 Jayson Daboi, MrZia, Self Serve, HottBonds …HottBonds, BDSM, bondage, fetish clothingQuestions? Comments? Please  message me, Sera privately …Please feel welcome to repost widely!

Jun 21

The amazing Audacia Ray has started the “Red Umbrella Diaries.” Check out the piece I and a friend wrote for the first Call for Submissions on “Co-workers and Co-conspirators.”

We really gotta get that show off to Hollywood … La la la, Mismatched Whores!

Jun 16

Mis-Matched Whores, Episode Deux

mid-morning of November 7th, 2006

Radical Vixen and I created this sitcom after a long LA weekend with the Latex Geez. You can read up on the LG here. Although the LG didn’t make it onto our sitcom, we thank him for inspiring it. Below is my original post about the second episode of our Emmy-worthy idea!

In this mind-blowingly popular episode, we find out that Sera is not only a dominatrix, but also a graduate student. As she moves toward dissertation hours, she arranges a meeting with The Professor—at her and Radical Vixen’s home.

Sera reminds Radical, repeatedly, of The Professor’s arrival date and time. Radical promises to be done her work for the day before The Professor’s arrival, but alas …

Radical is a hippie who cannot be held to the constraints of space and time. As Sera places a plate of olives and feta cheese on the coffee table, the unmistakable sounds of Radical’s session permeate the living room. Sera knocks on the hippie-dungeon door, but then the main doorbell rings …

Sera takes a deep breath and lets The Professor in. Sera talks very loudly, but as the women sit on the couch and spread out papers, Radical’s voice covers a moment of quiet: “Take it, doggie boy, take it!”

Sera blanches, and she tries to explain that her roommate is engaged in a unique form of therapy, in which she enacts her most frightening dreams. The Professor smirks.

And hilarity ensues.

Jun 11
paddle, sera miles, spanking

You Know You Need It

Yesterday, a thirty-something man set up a call with me. He’d done one call with our service in the past, and he explained that he felt he and the PSO didn’t “connect,” so he’d called our Director, and she’d suggested he phone me. As I did the billing, I had no idea what his kink would be—I no longer ask, as I’ve found that there really is nothing, at this point, that I won’t talk about—but I had an inkling, so before I called him back, I grabbed my mini-tawse. Against a leather pillow, the mini-tawse make a perfect sound.

Once on the call, this young man’s voice shook. I gently asked him about his interests, and he quaked, “I’m really embarrassed by this, but I’m into spanking.” I smiled, and cried out, “Me too!”

We talked about his fantasies—he tends toward adult situations in which a husband/boyfriend “disciplines” his wife/girlfriend for typical relationship-spats, such as overspending. He confided that he considers himself a switch, and after we played a scene in which I was the “naughty wife,” he told me, “I don’t know what to say now.” I took charge, and I suggested we mutually masturbate while I told him a spanking story. Suffice to say he had a fabulous time. He ended our call by telling me he’d like to switch roles next time, and I told him that would be a good idea, as having me control a scene would show him how to control a scene. This young man has never played in real life.

Lately, I’ve had loads of boring calls, along with my most-disgusting call, and I’ve been “annoyed” with my job. This call reinvigorated me, as it allowed me to do what I love to do—show someone he’s not “weird,” because look at me: I’m professional, educated, and articulate, and this spanking stuff gets me off, too.

The people I speak with who are into spanking seem to carry an inordinate amount of shame. I should know; for nearly twenty years, I did, too. I’m trying to figure out from where this intense shame derives. It’s possible, I think, that it’s much easier to get a hold of BDSM materials—videos, magazines, and books—from Adult vendors. Thinking through the Adult book/video/general porn stores I’ve been in, I’ve always seen at least a smattering of BDSM videos and books, but rarely have I seen a real spanking video. Before I entered the world of sex work and began to shed my shame, I remember traipsing through adult stores and picking up any video that showed an image of spanking on its back cover. I’d wait for my roommate to go out of town, get a bottle of wine, and watch with anticipation. These few videos, though, never turned me on. I didn’t want to see a leather-clad mistress whipping her submissive with rose stems; I didn’t want to see a five-second slippering in the midst of lesbian sex. I wanted to see a full disciplinary scene—replete with humiliating verbiage (in which an adult is treated like a child), traditional spanking positions and implements, and promises to be “good.” I didn’t see anything like this until after I made my first spanking video with Kelly Payne.

Many spanking fetishists imagine not simply adults-as-adults in spanking scenarios, but adults-as-children. Perhaps, then, some of the shame, our shame, comes from fear of appearing pedophiliac. I’m sure that there are pedophiles out there who are into spanking, but most people into spanking are not pedophiles. They don’t imagine real children—I know that I never did/have—they imagine, instead, themselves or their partner acting the part of a child. I love age play, and many callers will tell me they want to be “18″ in the spanking fantasy I create. I usually gently tell them that they can be any age they’d like within our fantasy—and by and large, they become 12 years old. Some spanking fetishists were brutally spanked as children themselves, and they alleviate adult emotional suffering by re-playing childhood scenes in a consensual environment.

Some spanking fetishists were never spanked, but they felt ignored by adult figures, and thus the adult-play-time spanking scenario allows them to feel the attention they’ve long craved. (This is not to say that spanking fetishists neatly fit into these two categories; rather, these categories are common.) Some spanking fetishists are mostly interested in erotic-prelude-to-sex spanking, but many of us imagine “serious discipline.” We imagine tears, begging, corner time, embarrassment, stern lectures, and forceful hands and implements. Perhaps this intense shame comes from this interest in childhood rituals. After all, it’s not weird to like a few slaps to the ass before sex; what’s “weird” is finding sex in the ritual. For many of my clients, the ritual of discipline IS like sex, in that they find orgasmic fulfillment in the spanking act itself. This is, of course, what makes it a fetish—a serious fetish—for some: they can only achieve orgasm during disciplinary spanking play. Although I don’t count myself within this category, I have always relied on spanking-related fantasies during sex to achieve my strongest orgasms.

As most of you dear readers know from previous posts, meeting Kelly Payne and doing videos for her marked a major change in my perception of my fetishistic interests. Kelly is one of the most intense spanking fetishists I’ve ever known—as in, I thought my spanking interests were huge, until I met her. She loves what she does: she supplies jerk-off material to spankos. And, she’s often said, while sipping coffee and dragging on a Newport Light, “What do most people have? They work, they struggle to pay bills, they come home at night and they’re exhausted. They still have getting off, though, and I want to help them get off as hard as they can.”

Amen.

Jun 03

Keeping up with a blog can be a difficult task–more difficult than we realize when we start one. Although I intend to keep this blog going for as long as humanly possible, I will not be able to write often.

On April 1st, my daughter was diagnosed with cancer. At two years old, she’s doing very well–in remission, happy and fun as any two year old can be. She also has over two years of chemo ahead of her.

In February of 2009, New Mexico FetLifers convened for the first time. Our group has grown, in less than a year and a half, five times over. This community of kinksters and fetishists, S&Mers, D/s-ers, and Leatherfolk, has supported my family in a myriad of manners. People have cooked for us; people who live four hours away have sent money for others to cook for us. We’ve received blankets and toys; friends have run a multitude of errands for us … I don’t know how my family would have survived the last two months without the New Mexico FetLifers community.

Well, we would have survived–but we would have lacked healthy and homecooked food; we would have driven ourselves into deeper exhaustion.

Thank you. Thank you. My gratitude pours out to my loving, kinky, fun, naughty, crazy, warm, accepting, and compassionate community.

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